Happy Birthday?

Growing up, my family went all out on our birthdays. It usually started out with my parents waking me up by singing "Happy Birthday" and was followed by my favorite breakfast (which was always my dad's biscuits and gravy.) Throughout the day, I got to pick everything I wanted to do (within reason, of course.) My parents made our birthday completely about us. Because of this, I naturally feel like everyone should be treated in this manner on their birthday... But what if they don't want to be?

This is a question I've had to ask myself a lot lately, as my husband says he doesn't like the attention. For my husband, a birthday is a reminder of all the painful ones he had growing up. His birthday was another excuse for his mom to throw an adult party, which meant alcohol and drugs. Even as a child, his day was not about him at all. His brother and sisters all have wonderful birthdays and are spoiled ridiculously, but never Travis. As an adult, he doesn't receive birthday cards or even phone calls from his family.

Lately we've had conversations about what he wants to do for his birthday. He has told me that he would just prefer it if I didn't make any fuss about it because "it's just another day." This absolutely breaks my heart. As a wife, I just want to fix his pain with all that I have. I want to be able to give him the most amazing day on his birthday so that he can forget all the bad ones he's ever had. I really think he wants to have amazing birthdays, but the memories of past birthdays and his family keep him from doing so.

So how can this barrier be eliminated? Will it ever be? Even though his family may not show that they treasure him, I want my husband to know how much I rejoice that he's been given another year of life. I want him to celebrate it too. I feel so helpless though. I fight the urge to get furious and resentful towards his mother. How dare someone steal something as precious a happy birthday away from someone and not even care.

As my husband's birthday approaches in just a few hours, I pray that God would perform a miracle. One that includes forgiveness and healing. I pray for a day of joy. I pray that my husband does have a happy birthday after all.