A Second Chance

At at least one point in our lives, we wish for a second chance, or a do-over. We wish life could be like the movies where the character lives with the choices they've made, only to wake up one morning and they're years younger. They are able to avoid the mistakes that they made previously, and they wake up again to find everything is right in the world. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen in real life.

Over the last several years, I have begged God for a do-over. I knew it probably wouldn't happen, but God can do anything, right? There are several mistakes I've made in my life, and I wish I could go back in time and avoid those mistakes. Maybe then I would be at a different place in my life. Maybe then I would be blogging about the adventures I having instead of the disappointments life has brought me.

Yesterday I realized God had in fact answered my prayers. While it wasn't how I ever wanted it to happen, He has given me a second chance in life. I'm not saying by any means that God brought my divorce on, but He is making something beautiful come from this experience.

I can't go back and right all of my wrongs, but I can go forward and learn from my mistakes so that I may make better choices this go-around. There are so many things I'm not willing to compromise on anymore because of the life I want to live. I desire to accomplish so many things in my life, and I know it's not going to be possible if I continue on the path that I've been treading. I know that I need to seek God first because my will has led me down to such a devastating path.

Thank you God for another chance.

I fully intend to make this second chance worth something wonderful.

Climbing out of the Pit

For the first time in a long time I am feeling very content with my life. With all that has gone on in the last few years, I have struggled a lot with being dissatisfied. My life has not turned out at all the way I use to picture it. I have made more than my share poor decisions over the last few years. Some things that have happened were beyond my control. Regardless, I have been dissatisfied, restless, and completely envious of others. However, in this moment, I'm very content with where I am.

I use to picture myself married with at least 2 rugrats at this age. I would have a college degree, own a house, be a preacher's wife, and would have a ministry of my own. I would be devastatingly in love with my husband, and he with me. I would be the "Proverbs 31 woman". I would take the occassional missions trip overseas. I would be healthy and fit. I would never speak unkind of anyone. I would be giving, and would use my time praying for and helping others. My house would be clean. I would play the violin and piano. I would sing occassionally in church.  I would home school my children. I would teach them about life and God. I would travel the world. I would get up early each morning, fix a cup of coffee, and spend time with God.

Those were/are my dreams. However, that is not my life, and for a long time, I hated that. I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that I may never have that life. Currently my life is far from my perfect dream, but I'm okay with that. My life is my own, and I need to be content with where I am, but continuing to strive for better. I shouldn't sit around sulking about what I should be or have.

I need to focus on what I already have:

I have amazing parents who love me. I have a wonderful brother, sister, and sister-in-law. I have two handsome nephews and a beautiful niece. I have great grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have the best friends in the world. I have a roof over my head. I have a running car, a job, and food on the table. I have dogs who love to give me kisses when I come home each day. I was blessed enough to have a wonderful Christian education. I have a Savior that loves me and died for me. I am so fortunate to live in such a wonderful country.

I am so very blessed, and so very content with what I have. If I never see my dreams come to pass, that's okay because what I already do have is so very wonderful. So, thank you God. Also, thank you to all of those that make my life so wonderful.