DIY Decorative Hoops

Another easy, inexpensive craft:

Decorative Hoops

Supplies:

*Cross Stitch Hoops*

(you can buy really, really cheap ones at thrift stores!)

*Fabric of your choice*

*Wood stain pen*

(optional; can be found at most craft stores)

*Scissors*

Directions:

*Iron fabric and cut out fabric to about 1"-2" bigger than your hoop.

*Stain your hoop with the marker, allow it to dry completely (It dries within minutes)

*Loosen the outer hoop, and pull the fabric around smaller hoop

*Fit and tighten the outer hoop over the inner hoop, pulling the fabric

*Make sure your fabric is pulled tightly

*Hang it on the wall for a cute decoration!

DIY Dry Erase Board

Like most American women my age, I'm addicted to Pinterest.

I can spend hours at a time finding all sorts of wonderful things and pinning them to my board.

Today was my day off, and I decided instead of pinning to my hearts content, that I would actually make one of the 100+ things I have on my board:

A Dry Erase Board

It was super easy to make, and thanks to Hobby Lobby's amazing sales, I spent less than $20 for all my supplies.

All you need is:

*A collage picture frame*

*Patterned scrapbook paper*

*Stickers*

Since there were 8 frames and only 7 days, I put one of my favorite sayings in the last slot:



Weight Loss Chart

Today I made a weight loss chart to keep me motivated on my journey..

Here it is:

This masterpiece took me 4 back-breaking hours to complete, but I'm so proud of it!

So, my plan of action is to weigh myself every Sunday and record it here.

The last column is designated for amount of weight I lost during that month.

This may sound childish, but for every 10 lbs I drop, I'm going to add a fancy little gem to my chart.

 (I thought a gold star was too cliche'.)

Also, I decided I wanted to reward myself somehow for every 10 lbs I lost. So, I've decided that I'm going to put $50 into a vacation fund every time I recieve a little gem.

I have so many things I want to do and places I want to go, so I thought this would be the perfect way to reward myself and keep myself motivated. 

So far on Weight Watchers I've lost 12.5 lbs. 

That makes 34.5 lbs total since my heaviest.

I'm so excited!!

Finding Hope

I began this Journey two years ago.

Two years ago, I vowed to lose 100 lbs in 9 months..

Two years later, I'm only 30 lbs lighter.

Grant it, so much has happened in the last two years, but still. That's a lot of time wasted, which frustrates the fire out of me. I can't believe I wasted another few years of my life being miserably fat. Had I stayed true to my word, I would have a body like Catherine Zeta-Jones... But instead, I'm still medically classified as "morbidly obese". (Gosh, I hate that term...)

Until recently, I had basically given up hope that I would ever have a normal life as a healthy, thin person. I had accepted the fact that I was going to be forever a fattie. It sucked, but that's life, right?

I didn't have much motivation to go exercise (I would say, "it's too much effort.."), and diets were "of the devil". I mean, how dare someone tell me I couldn't have a brownie! I've tried many diets, but I could never get past 3 days (sad, I know). Truth be told, most of the time, it only lasted a day.

Recently, I had a couple friends join Weight Watchers. I thought, "Good for them, but it would never work for me." Then, one of my friends told me she had lost 6 lbs the first week. She assured me that it was by far the easiest diet she'd ever been on. So I decided to take a look into it. That day, I decided to join, not fully knowing what I was getting into. I figured it was better than doing nothing at all.

So, the first day was alright.. Then came the second day. That day, I did an awful job. I failed a little bit, which led to a lot of guilt.. Then that led to me failing a lot. I was about to throw in the towel, when I consulted friends that were doing Weight Watchers as well. They reminded me that I am human, and I'm going to fail from time to time. They encouraged me to keep going and to be honest with myself along the way.
To tell you the truth the whole, 'being honest with myself' was the hardest part of the deal. I knew I had done a poor job that day, but I wasn't allowing myself to see how badly I did, and how much I really needed help.

The truth is this:

I am severely obese.

I CAN'T do this on my own.

Truth be told, I lost a battle, but that doesn't mean I lost the war.

I CAN do this diet.

That night, after I had finally been honest with myself, I decided to take this weight loss journey seriously. From there, I researched things and came up with a plan on how to make this a success. When day three came, I was prepared. When Day four came, I was estatic. Not only did I make it through the 'three day' mark, but my outlook on everything was starting to change. I wasn't making excuses for myself like I had always done. I was choosing to eat healthier. It became a game for me.. All of the sudden, dieting was fun.. (If you know me, that just doesn't happen.)

As cheesy as this sounds, Weight Watchers has been a miracle for me. As far as diets go, I don't like a challenge, and Weight Watchers is easy. Quite honestly, I'd rather eat a brownie than a vegetable.. Already, I've stopped craving a lot of unhealthy foods, and I'm eating cabbage with dinner--what the heck?! Also, I use to hate stepping on the scale, but now I enjoy it. Although the number on it is still outstanding, it's actually going down! This program has given me hope for a better tomorrow.

Now, I don't feel like I'll forever be limited to shopping at Lane Bryant. With each pound I lose, I gain confidence and self-worth. I actually feel like I can accomplish things-both great and small.. By the end of the year, I will be able to ride a roller coaster comfortably. One day, I'll be a stunning bride, and I'll look back at those wedding photos with joy and gladness instead of utter disgust in badly how I looked. Who knows, maybe I'll even climb a mountain! (lol)

I Have Confidence in Me

I've always known I've absolutely no self-confidence, but lately I've really been thinking about why I don't have any and how ridiculous it is. I believe my lack of confidence comes from my low self-esteem, which stems my weight issues. When you're overweight, people treat you different, and you feel absolutely terrible about yourself. It becomes your life.

You constantly think about how fat you are because it affects everything you do. You can't sit in normal seats without wondering if you'll fit or break it. You can't go shopping in normal stores. You can't breathe right. You avoid full length mirrors because they don't lie. Your whole life changes, and not for the better.

Because people treat you differently, and this world really wasn't made for fat people, you start to view yourself in a different light. You feel unloved, unpretty, like a joke, and out of place. Being fat steals your joy because life is so different. You're limited. You start telling yourself how ugly and gross you are. You believe the lies and they consume you.

I've come to the realization lately that I don't look people in the eyes generally or even talk to them because I don't feel good enough, or unworthy to do so. How stupid is that? Even though I may not be drop dead gorgeous and I don't have a fantastic body, I am a person, and I deserve to hold my head up high. I'm NOT unworthy of anything based on how I look.

My lack of self-confidence has sabatoged my weight loss all of these years because I didn't believe that I could do it. I believed all the lies I told myself.. "I can't do it", "I don't have the willpower", "I'm too tired" ,"I don't want anyone to see me running" ,"I'm not good enough".

blah, blah, blah...

So lately, I've been trying to turn this thing around. Instead of telling myself "I can't because (insert reason here)" I'm telling myself "I can and I will". I have also given myself little assignments (ie, look everyone in the eye, don't look down, keep your head held high, etc.) Believe me, this is hard.. but so worth it!

In the last few weeks, I've seen such a dramatic change in my behavior. Because I'm starting to view myself in a different light, I'm acting differently. I'm much more happy and content with life.. Not only that- I'm striving for the best because I know I'm worthy of it and I believe I can attain it.

It's been such a welcome and neccessary change in my life.

One Year

I can't believe it's already been a year...

A year ago today I made a heartwrenching decision to get a divorce.

After years of struggle, I had finally reached a point where it was alright for me to let go.

I remember the conversation I had with my ex husband. We were both in agreement over the decision, but even so, I was completely devastated. I had no idea what the future held or how I was going to make ends meet, and honestly that terrified me.

Over the next few months, I experienced every bad emotion: Fear, Anger, Guilt, Denial, Sadness. I had no idea how I was ever going to get through that horrific time in my life. I thought that a year from then I would still be experiencing those emotions.

.. and the truth is, a year later, I'm not.

Instead of the bad feelings mentioned above, I have complete peace and joy about the situation.

I know that might sound extremely strange, but that is definitely the case.

Truth be told, I'm the happiest I've been in six years or so.

Never in my own strength could I have gotten through this whole situation.. It was totally and undeniably God.

So thank you God for a year of healing and restoration.

Thank you for peace and joy..

Above all, thank you for Your faithfulness.

Giving It to God

Growing up in the south, there is such a huge pressure to marry young and start making babies as soon as you say "I Do". Most people marry right out of high school and within 5 years, they've had three kids.

If you're not one of these individuals, you start to feel funny about yourself. My first relationship started shortly after high school. That didn't work, so I dated a couple other people over the next few years and eventually got married. Well, we all know how that story ended.

Practically all my life, I've felt like I was incomplete because I didn't have 'that special someone' in my life. Every time I ran into someone I knew from high school, I felt like an alien because I didn't have 2.5 kids. I felt like a loser, and I let this define my worth.

Now that I'm divorced, and all chances of having 2 kids, owning a house in the 'burbs with a white picket fence, a golden retriever named Lucky, and my devastatingly handsome, doctor husband seem to be a world away. I feel even more alien than I already did. Not only that, but I'm 25 and divorced, so I'm the one people gossip about.
 It's just peachy.

After my divorce, out of desperation, I joined a single's site. I met some "interesting" people and went on a couple bad dates. Through this and a series of other events, I decided to quit looking.

That's not to say that I don't want anyone.. I do.
More than anything, I would love someone to spend time with.. Someone that makes the clouds of lonliness vanish. Someone who looks at me like I'm the most beautiful woman on earth. Someone who I can laugh with, pamper, cook for, cuddle with, etc, etc..

But because I want that more than anything, I have to let it go.

I want to take some time for me. I want to rediscover the parts of me that I lost, and discover the parts of me I don't know. I want to become the person I'm destined to be. In order to do this, however, I need to be alone for a while. I can't let a man (or the lack of one) define who I am and how I see myself.


I need to want God and His perfect will more than anything.
I have to allow Him to restore me and make me anew.
I have to allow Him alone to define my worth.


Then in due time, He will bring the right man into my life.
But until then, He needs to be my only man.

Not to say any of this is easy.. It's not.
From time to time, I struggle with thoughts of sadness, frustration, and loneliness.
Some times I feel like I'm going to be alone forever.. But then I get over it.

I'm realizing that life is full of beauty and adventure. I can't wait for a great life to come to me- I have to go out and get it. If I'm constantly stewing about being alone, I'm going to miss out on so much. I simply cannot do that any longer.

I'm ready to life the single life I want. If and when God brings someone into my life, then that's great. If not, that's great too. Either way, I'm going to live a full life.

I don't need to care about what other's idea of 'normal' is.
All I need is to care about what God wants and who I am in Him.

So, after 20 something years of struggle, lesson learned.. I'm giving that part of me to God.