Frustration, Failure, and Disappointment

Failure isn't an option, right? Well, guess what? I did it. And because I did it, I have felt so guilty and frustrated with myself that I haven't blogged. You know, it's one thing to put yourself out there for the world when you're doing good at something, but it's a whole other ball game when you put yourself out for the world to see your failures. But, I'm finally swallowing my pride and putting it out there. I failed.

It started the morning after I posted my goal. I received criticism and discouragement for this goal, and stupidly, I let it get me down. Shortly after I let it get me down, I started craving Chinese food in the worst way. Then the next day, I went with my friend Sonja to a Chinese buffet, and I had way too much to eat. I was so disappointed in myself. Then, afterwards, I went with her to grab her belongings from Stream (where I used to work). While I was there, a few of my old co-workers were very rude to me, which really upset me. Shortly after, I was suppose to go to the gym to work out, but because I ate so much, I felt like crap and didn't go. All of this combined let to frustration, which ultimately led to my failure.

Since then, I had let my initial failure lead to other failures on a daily basis, resulting in a 2lb weight gain.  I'm so ashamed of myself. I let Satan have the victory.

However, I know God doesn't want me to give up. He has, in fact, used different things to give me encouragement. The biggest one was my mother. This morning I called my mom and she asked me how I was doing with my weight loss. I told her what I was going through, and she helped me put these things in proper perspective. She also told me that my blog helped her, and that her and my dad are proud of me. That meant so much to me. The whole conversation was the push that I needed. So, here I am, back on my wagon, riding towards a better future.

Mom, thank you so much. You inspire me!