One of the feelings I have been going through since starting this process is grief. As I've stated before, divorce is like a death, and I feel as if I've lost my best friend. My heart has been torn in a million pieces, and it feels as though it'll never be whole again.
I never wanted this to happen to me, and I honestly thought I would never go through this, but here I am in the midst of a divorce. I grew up in a christian home, and I believe in the Bible and God to my very core. I know divorce isn't Biblical. I hate the fact that I've been put in the position where divorce is necessary.
My marriage has been a constant struggle, even more so than most couples. I fought very hard to make it work, and it feels like all of that work was in vain. I feel as though my efforts have been wasted. I feel like a failure, even though I know I've done all that I can. Some people would say that I haven't tried, but not knowing the circumstances, I would find them completely ignorant.
No one ever deserves to know the pain of divorce. It's one of the very worst things I've ever had to go through. I feel as if I'm in a nightmare and I can't wake up. I don't feel as though I'm really living my life. I feel so alone, even though I have an amazing support system around me. My tears seem never ending. My heart literally hurts. I don't feel as though I could love again. Sometimes I don't feel very hopeful of the future. I try to imagine the future and it all seems so bleak. I don't like feeling this way at all.
I wish that there was a shot or something that would make me numb to the pain I feel. I wish I could go on a vacation so that I could forget everything. Unfortunately there isn't a shot and I can't go on vacation. I have to trudge forth and live out each day dealing with every emotion that comes my way.
I'm trying to cling to God's Word and His promises.. Although I feel alone and broken hearted, I know that He is with me. This is what is getting me through.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
I never wanted this to happen to me, and I honestly thought I would never go through this, but here I am in the midst of a divorce. I grew up in a christian home, and I believe in the Bible and God to my very core. I know divorce isn't Biblical. I hate the fact that I've been put in the position where divorce is necessary.
My marriage has been a constant struggle, even more so than most couples. I fought very hard to make it work, and it feels like all of that work was in vain. I feel as though my efforts have been wasted. I feel like a failure, even though I know I've done all that I can. Some people would say that I haven't tried, but not knowing the circumstances, I would find them completely ignorant.
No one ever deserves to know the pain of divorce. It's one of the very worst things I've ever had to go through. I feel as if I'm in a nightmare and I can't wake up. I don't feel as though I'm really living my life. I feel so alone, even though I have an amazing support system around me. My tears seem never ending. My heart literally hurts. I don't feel as though I could love again. Sometimes I don't feel very hopeful of the future. I try to imagine the future and it all seems so bleak. I don't like feeling this way at all.
I wish that there was a shot or something that would make me numb to the pain I feel. I wish I could go on a vacation so that I could forget everything. Unfortunately there isn't a shot and I can't go on vacation. I have to trudge forth and live out each day dealing with every emotion that comes my way.
I'm trying to cling to God's Word and His promises.. Although I feel alone and broken hearted, I know that He is with me. This is what is getting me through.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
I'm so sorry you're going through this Courtney but I know that it's for the best. God will give you the strength to face each day and you'll come out stronger on the other side. Don't lose hope for the future- trust God's plan!
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