The Grass is Always Greener...

When I was a child, all I wanted was to be an adult. When I was a teenager, all I wanted was to be married and have my own little family. Now, as an adult, all I want is to be a carefree child again.

It's funny how we are always wanting what we cannot have.

I long for the days where my biggest decision in life was deciding which cereal to eat for breakfast. I was always so secure as a child. I had parents who loved me. I had a roof over my head. I didn't have to plan for the future. Bills and big decisions didn't keep me up at night. How wonderful it would be to go back to those days!

But here I am. I'm getting a divorce. I don't have a job. I don't know where I will be next month. I stay up at night fretting about bills and the future. Meanwhile, my heart hurts badly. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and no escape seems to be in sight.

I wish so desperately that I will wake up in the morning and be 10 years old with no cares in the world. Unfortunately things don't happen like they do in the movies. We don't get a do-over. We must trudge forth living with our choices, and we must deal with the consequences that come our way. We must make the best out of every situation, even when there's not a light at the end of a tunnel. We must not yearn for the greener grass, but rather be content in the situation we're in, meanwhile striving for a better life. It's truly so exhausting.